Car Wash: A Time Of Your Life Interlude
by ijnfleetadmiral
Summary: A charity car wash brings to light a secret relationship, and what does a monkey have to do with all this?
1. Meet Coco

**Disclaimer** - I own nothing except the idea for the story, the characters of Armistead, Lady, Coco, & Cap'n Jack.

**Car Wash: A Time Of Your Life Interlude**

**Chapter One: Meet Coco**

She was driving him crazy. It boggled Luke Armistead's mind how everyday actions done by a certain young woman could bring surges of desire so powerful they threatened to overwhelm him. And the hottest thing about it all was that she had no idea what she was doing to him.

They explained arriving in one car at the charity car wash easily enough; as it was being held in Richmond at a large abandoned gas station, Armistead had simply driven over and picked Mickie up from her place. Lady - as usual - was fawned over by most of the Divas, and she ate up the attention before Armistead sent her to lie down by Stephanie and J.R., who were handling the money. The Sheltie joined several other dogs that had accompanied various superstars, such as Torrie's beloved Chloe, Maria's Bichon Frise, Ashley's shepherd mix, Jeff's yellow Lab, and Dave's two Yorkies.

Predictably, the car wash was a huge success; the chance to meet the superstars was a major draw, true, but seeing nearly every Diva in the company in bikinis or something similar seemed to bring what looked like every man - regardless of age - in Richmond or the surrounding area.

There was a slight disagreement when Cryme Tyme and Jimmy Wang Yang started to argue over who should provide music. Naturally, Cryme Tyme's choice was rap, while Jimmy's choice was country. Eventually, Vince settled the debate by turning a nearby radio to a mix station, and told everybody to be content with that.

But the first sign of mischief was probably when DX - who else? - announced they had the perfect idea of what would go great with a car wash, got into Shawn's rental car, and drove off with gleams in their eyes. Upon their return forty-five minutes later, said gleams had evolved into wide grins.

"Uh-oh," Armistead nudged Jeff's arm as they finished drying off a Chevy Cobalt crowded with college girls who were gazing flirtatiously at them. "Look who's back."

Jeff glanced over and an uncertain expression came over his face.

"I don't like the look they have. It usually means trouble."

"Well, in our way of thinking it means trouble," Armistead replied. "For them it usually means something they think will be gut-bustingly funny."

The Big Show walked over and started to help them, and a couple of the car's occupants squealed when he appeared, causing him to roll his eyes.

"I'm sticking with you guys for awhile," he stated. "If I hear Edge complain one more time, I think I'm gonna chokeslam him."

Off in the distance they saw the World Heavyweight Champ - who hadn't wanted to be there in the first place; the only reason he showed up was because Vince had told him all title holders had to be there - shaking his head at the driver of an SUV.

"For the last time, lady," Edge said loudly, "the car Ford makes has nothing to do with me!"

Jeff and Armistead burst out laughing as they heard the Rated R Superstar talking about the Ford Edge. Now finished with the car, Edge stalked toward the cash table.

"Still selling cars, Adam?" Armistead joked, and Edge glowered in their direction.

"Bite me, Johnny Reb."

Armistead smirked. "So does this mean I won't get a discount at the local dealership when I mention your name?"

Edge stopped and clenched his fists. It looked as though he was about to walk over and smack Armistead, but Triple H's cheerful voice solved that problem.

"Go on, Coco...go say 'hi' to your Uncle Adam!"

Before anyone could say anything, Edge gave a shout of surprise as a chimpanzee latched onto his left leg and started chattering.

"What the...get it off me!" Edge squawked.

Armistead, Jeff, and Show all three burst out laughing. Triple H and Shawn beamed like proud parents at the interaction.

"Coco likes you, Adam," Triple H said.

"Yeah," Shawn agreed, "she's very affectionate."

Coco was now humping her Uncle Adam's leg. Uncle Adam looked like he wanted to either vanish into thin air or kill someone. Armistead bent double in laughter, The Big Show leaned against the car and shook his head, grinning, and Jeff was bent over the trunk, laughing so hard he was crying.

The minor commotion drew the attention of Vince's Executive Assistant.

"What's going on here?" Jonathan Coachman demanded as he walked up to DX. He was glowering at Shawn - who instantly became the poster child for innocence - and as such didn't see Coco release Edge - who ran away like he was being shot at - and Triple H beckon her over to them.

Coach never knew what hit him. Coco ran up and gave him a low blow. The WWE Chairman's Executive Assistant collapsed on the ground, Armistead and Jeff lost it again - this time Big Show joined them - and Triple H simply picked up Coco and him and Shawn wandered over to the three superstars that were supposed to be working, causing the car's occupants to begin a fresh batch of excited squeals upon seeing DX.

Armistead leaned down and told the girls the car was finished, and they drove off with flirtatious waves. He turned back to DX and laughed.

"I'm almost afraid to ask this...where did you get that chimp?"

"From a local place that rents animals out to events like birthday parties and stuff," Hunter replied. "We saw Coco and just had to take her, especially after the manager of the place says she goes crazy when she sees WWE on TV."

"Crazy as in 'berserk'?" Big Show asked uncertainly. Hunter shook his head.

"No, she just loves the shows."

"Whatever possessed you to rent her for a car wash?" Armistead wanted to know.

"Why not?" Shawn asked cheerfully. "We figured it'd be an added bonus to the event. You know, 'help a good cause, get your car washed, meet the superstars and Divas, and see a monkey'."

"Yeah, 'cause that last one really goes with the others," Armistead joked.

"She is cute, though," Jeff admitted. He held out his hand to Coco, who puckered her lips at him and made a kissing noise, causing Jeff to laugh.

"She really likes Shawn," Triple H replied. "I think he's one of her favorites."

Coco looked at Shawn and smacked him in the face before shrieking and bouncing up and down in Hunter's arms.

"Oww..." Shawn muttered, rubbing his left cheek.

"She's an affectionate little thing, all right," Armistead stated as John and Dave walked over to them.

"'Sup, guys?" John asked. Dave glanced at Triple H, then did a double take before shaking his head.

"I'm not even gonna ask," he said. John turned to him as if to question his statement, and Dave motioned to Triple H. John turned and saw Coco.

"Man, what're you doing with Umaga's baby cousin?"

The group laughed as Coco turned and saw John. She gave a monkey-like grin and waved her hand up and down in front of her face three times in an imitation of the Champ's famous 'you-can't-see-me' trademark, causing John to grin, impressed, Triple H and Shawn to beam proudly, and the rest of the group to laugh.

Matt Hardy wandered over with a troubled look on his face.

"I got bad news...the girls are mad at us."

Shouts of "What?", "Why?", "What'd we do?", and "Wasn't me!" could be heard from several guys and Big Show and DX grinned.

"Well..." Matt hedged, "it was kinda my fault. I was washing a car and the girls inside wouldn't stop flirting with me. Anyway, Ashley sees them flirting with me, and me not doing anything to stop them - I was ignoring them, to be honest - and so she thinks I liked them doing it. She got mad and she's probably gonna get all the Divas to give us the cold shoulder the rest of the day."

Armistead, Jeff, Dave, and John all stared at the United States Champion. John was the first to speak.

"Aw, man...this sucks. We're all gonna get punished for something we didn't even do!"

"What Matt said is exactly what's gonna happen, too," Jeff muttered. "Candie's gonna go right along with them."

"Man," John continued, "if 'Ria's mad at me for this, I'm gonna make a visit to Smackdown!, and the STFU's gonna be the least of your worries!"

He said this while trying to hide a grin, for he knew it wasn't Matt's fault for what had happened. Triple H laughed.

"I'm so glad I'm married; I don't have to deal with the drama of dating anymore."

Matt gave him a sarcastic grin.

"Maybe not, but Stephanie was the first person Ashley headed for after she left me." A fake thoughtful look came over his face. "Hmm...gee, I wonder what they talked about..."

Hunter's smug grin vanished in the blink of an eye. "Aw, crap..." he muttered, causing everyone else to laugh at him being in the same boat as Matt, Jeff, John, Dave, and - unbeknownst to everyone else - Luke.

Suddenly, Coco started struggling in Hunter's arms as though she wanted to be put down. Hunter was jarred from his depressive thoughts by this, and put her on the ground. Before he could grab her hand, however, she ran away from him and over to a car that was being washed by Kane and C. M. Punk. She came up behind Kane, and without so much as a by-your-leave, raised her arm and gave a hard smack to the ECW Champion's rear end.

There was dead silence among Armistead's group before Hunter muttered, "Ohh, shit..."

Kane stiffened and turned around. Upon seeing Coco, he blinked several times, not having expected a primate. After a few seconds, he glanced up and his eyes fixed on the group of male superstars watching him. Instinctively, everyone - Big Show included - pointed to DX.

Kane glanced down at Coco before - to everyone's surprise - he extended his hand to her. She placed her hand in his and he led her over to Hunter and Shawn, who were staring at him with nervous, guilty grins on their faces.

"Lose something?" Kane asked in a soft voice.

Shawn nodded vehemently, and Kane gave Coco's hand to Triple H before speaking.

"If you want to let her loose..." he paused, then to everyone's surprise, he grinned. "Turn her in Vince's direction. Then you'll see some action." Having said that, he walked back over to the car he'd been washing.

After a laugh over what had just happened, Armistead spoke up.

"Listen guys, let's just go back to work. Maybe by the time lunch rolls around the girls will have forgotten what happened."

At the looks from the other guys, Armistead shrugged.

"Hey, I know it's wishful thinking, but we're in America, so let's dream big."

With a laugh, the group split up and went back to work.


	2. The Trouble With Divas

**Disclaimer** - See Chapter One.

**Chapter Two: The Trouble With Divas**

The situation had not improved by lunchtime, especially since DX had decided to wander around with Coco and let her meet some of the other superstars. Carlito didn't care for her too much; she tried picking his hair to see if there were any bugs in it, a sight that made the other guys helping Carlito - Cody Rhodes, Paul London, and Brian Kendrick - laugh so hard they nearly wet themselves.

Throughout the morning, several of the guys had approached their respective significant others and tried to talk to them. Ashley and Candice ignored Matt and Jeff completely, Torrie and Lillian simply smiled and gave one-word answers to any questions Dave or C. M. Punk asked - Matt and Jeff told them to count themselves lucky; at least their girls had smiled at them -, and Maria appeared to feel sorry for John, but wasn't about to abandon her fellow Divas.

And the Divas didn't just give the guys the cold shoulder; oh, no...that would've been going easy on them. They wanted to make them squirm. And they were damn good at it, too. It started off simple enough; a soapy water fight between Torrie, Mickie, and Maria, but Candice and Ashley outdid them all when they offered to put sunscreen on each other.

Matt and Jeff looked ready to cry, and Triple H grinned.

"People are pulling out camera phones, did you guys know that?" he asked cheerfully.

"Shut up, Hunter," Jeff muttered miserably.

"Forget camera phones," Armistead put in, "the guy in that Tahoe up there just turned on a video camera." This statement caused Matt to gently ram his head against the roof of a car and swear under his breath repeatedly.

Coach saw the girls next, and - after watching them himself for a few moments - called out, "C'mon ladies...finish it up...you're backing up traffic on the highway!" In response, Coco ran over and low-blowed him again, and the Executive Assistant went down for the second time that morning.

Armistead decided to leave his approach on Mickie until lunch. He volunteered the two of them to go get the pizzas Vince had ordered for everybody, and he was thankful that Mickie didn't protest when she was informed he'd volunteered her. Armistead had left Lady with Ashley and Candice - who were lavishing attention on her instead of on their boyfriends - so it was just him and Mickie in the car.

After a few minutes of silence, Mickie turned to him and grinned.

"Go ahead; all the other guys have tried with their girls. Let's see your attempt."

Armistead shook his head. "I figure when you want to talk about it, you'll let me know."

Mickie appeared briefly surprised at his reaction. She quickly regained her composure, however, and grinned mischievously.

"You can't wait forever...I bet I can hold out longer than you can."

Armistead stopped at a traffic light and leaned over to her. He nuzzled her neck and whispered in her ear, letting his southern accent become extremely evident.

"You sure 'bout that, darlin'?" he murmured huskily, and placed a wet kiss just behind Mickie's ear before gently nibbling on her earlobe with his teeth, chuckling silently as she shuddered and exhaled audibly. His accent was one thing that he knew drove the gorgeous Women's Champ absolutely wild, especially when he used it while whispering sweet nothings into her ear in his dark hotel room after having loved her to exhaustion. He pulled back and gazed into her soulful brown eyes, which were now dark with desire, and he knew he had her.

A honk from behind them made him settle back behind the wheel and drive through the light. Mickie sat staring straight ahead for a few minutes before she turned and saw a gas station.

"Pull in that gas station up there."

Armistead did as she requested, and was surprised when she asked him to pull around to the car wash.

"I'm gonna wash the car at the charity car wash before we leave, sweetheart."

"You can get it washed again," the Women's Champ replied. "Now pull in and select the full treatment."

Armistead did as she asked, and shut off the car once it was on the conveyor belt. The moment the car was inside, he heard his girlfriend unbuckle her seatbelt, and seconds later his arms were full with a scantily-clad Women's Champ who was kissing him hungrily.

"What - " was all Armistead got out before Mickie cut him off with a seductive grin.

"Let's work up an appetite, Luke."

Armistead grinned. He loved the outfit Mickie had chosen for the day. Indeed, he'd nearly gone with his instinct to forget the car wash and keep his exquisite girlfriend home in bed that day when she came downstairs in a neon pink string bikini with splashes of royal purple and royal blue on it. He'd burst out laughing when his new Macaw parrot, Cap'n Jack, took one look at Mickie and started screaming, "Go daddy! Go daddy!" while running up and down his perch and bobbing his head enthusiastically. Mickie's response had been to smack her boyfriend's chest lightly for teaching his new bird how to be a pervert while at the same time trying very hard not to laugh herself.

No, he had no problem at all with working up an appetite. Thank God his Impala had bench seats.


	3. Coming Clean

**Disclaimer** - See Chapter One.

**Chapter Three: Coming Clean**

After getting back with the pizzas fifteen minutes later than they were supposed to, Armistead thought they were going to have to think up a plausible excuse.

"Sorry we're back late," he announced as he got out of the car, "traffic was hell."

"Probably left over from Candice and Ashley's free version of _Girls Gone Wild_," Jeff muttered softly, but it'd been loud enough for Candice to hear. She and Ashley whirled on their boyfriends, and Matt gave them a stricken look.

"It was all him; I didn't say a word! You can't blame me for that one!" he jabbered frantically.

Candice glowered at Jeff as he floundered and tried to apologize, and Ashley stalked off. Matt tried to follow, but his brother gave him a don't-you-dare-leave-me-or-else-you'll-be-sorry look, so he begrudgingly stayed where he was. As a result, he didn't see Ashley and Maria sneaking up behind them, each holding a garden hose.

Before the Hardys knew what had happened, the Divas grabbed the waistbands of their swim trunks, stuck the hoses down the backs of them, and Ashley nodded to Michelle and Lillian, who turned on the water. Jeff's attempt at an apology was cut off with a shout, and both Hardys jumped a mile as their shorts filled with water and their friends died laughing.

Jeff managed to get free first. He grabbed the hose that Maria had nailed him with and turned it on his girlfriend. Candice squealed and took off running; Jeff sprayed her until she outranged the water, and then dropped the hose and took off running after her. Matt simply removed the hose, dropped it on the ground, grabbed his girlfriend and kissed her. Ashley struggled at first, but then gave in.

Maria, seeing as how Ashley had made up with Matt, walked over to where John was chatting with C. M. Punk and hugged him. The Champ returned the embrace gladly, obviously happy that the ignoring period was over and done with. C. M. Punk, seeing the cease-fire had ended as well, walked off to find Torrie, a smile on his face.

Armistead spoke after a few moments.

"I take it a cease-fire's been established?"

Ashley pulled back from Matt and laughed. "Yeah, we're good now - oh, my God, Luke...what is that on your shoulder?"

Armistead glanced down at his right shoulder to see a set of bite marks that were an angry red. Mickie saw them too, and was apparently doing all she could not to blush furiously and give herself away. Armistead prayed he wasn't blushing either, remembering how the Women's Champ had bitten his shoulder to keep from screaming his name about twenty minutes ago. He shook himself from the erotic thoughts when he realized Ashley was awaiting an explanation.

"Um, well, ah, you see, I just bought a parrot, and he has a fondness for biting. I was letting him sit on my shoulder last night and he just leaned down and got me good. Nearly threw the damn bird against the wall for that."

"Are you sure it's not infected?" Ashley looked concerned. "It's pretty red to have happened last night."

"Maybe it was this morning, Ash, I can't remember exactly," Armistead hastily replied. Ashley appeared to accept his explanation, but was still looking at the wound with a thoughtful expression on her face.

Jeff and Candice walked up, and they had apparently resolved their differences, for Candice was leaning into Jeff and trying to bite his earlobe, but she stopped when she saw Armistead's shoulder.

"Wow, nice hickey, Luke...where'd you get it?"

"It's not a hickey!" Armistead protested. "My new parrot bit me!"

"What's not a hickey?" Dave asked as he and Lillian joined the group. Candice pointed to Armistead's shoulder and Dave winced.

"Ouch...that's a hickey, all right."

"And how would you know that?" Lillian turned to her boyfriend, interested in his explanation.

Dave wasn't fazed in the least. "Because you gave me a similar one on my collarbone a couple weeks ago," he replied smoothly, and Lillian turned beet red, smacked his chest and giggled embarrassedly.

Armistead was about to protest further, but Mickie spoke up from beside him, where she was sitting on the hood of his car.

"Luke..."

He turned to her. "Yes Mi - "

He was cut off once more by her lips, and instinctively wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace and kissing her deeply. It was almost natural for the world to fade out when he was kissing her, so he didn't even register the exclamations of surprise from their friends.

They broke apart only when John and Maria walked over and saw them kissing.

"Damn, boy...come up for air!" John joked, and Mickie and Armistead broke apart, laughing along with the rest of the group.

"I guess we know where the hickey came from," Candice joked, and Mickie hid her face in Armistead's shoulder.

"It's about time, you two," Ashley grinned. "We were all wondering when you'd finally figure things out."

"Actually, we figured things out six weeks ago," Armistead replied, and Mickie giggled as their friends crowded around and expressed their congratulations.


	4. Uncle Adam On Edge

**Disclaimer** - See Chapter One.

**Chapter Four: Uncle Adam on Edge**

While the girls dragged Mickie off to grill her about her and Armistead's relationship, the guys converged on Armistead, being joined by DX, who'd seen Armistead and Mickie kissing and had instantly headed in their direction. Triple H was holding Coco, who appeared agitated and was glancing around.

"What's with her?" Dave asked.

Triple H smirked. "She's just looking for someone special."

"Yeah," Shawn added, "she's trying to find her Uncle Adam, but he doesn't wanna play with her."

Even as they said that, the World Heavyweight Champ strode by, and Coco screamed when she saw him.

"Keep it away from me!" Edge warned, and increased his pace to his car.

The group of superstars laughed as John turned to Armistead.

"So spill, man...what's it like between you two?"

Armistead shook his head. "No, no, no...I'm not gonna sit here and give you the dirty details of my relationship with the Women's Champion."

This statement was met by looks of disappointment from a couple of the guys, as well as an "Aw, why not?" from Triple H.

"Just do what I do," Armistead advised. "Spoil your ladies rotten and be romantic as hell, and you'll all be very happy men."

With that said, he grabbed his and Mickie's trash and headed over to the trash cans. Seeing how they probably weren't going to get any more out of him than that, the group of superstars broke up and prepared to go back to work.

As Vince unhooked the cord that once more let people into the car wash area, Jeff and Armistead stood at their station, waiting for their next customer. To their surprise, Edge's black Bentley pulled up to their station, and the Rated R Superstar got out.

"Full treatment, and don't skimp on the wax, got it?" he ordered smugly, and sauntered off to talk to Vince.

Jeff blinked a few times before turning to Armistead.

"He's kidding, right? He expects us to wash his car and not help us?"

"Evidently," Armistead replied. Before Jeff could refuse, he continued. "Let's just get it over with...the faster we get done, the faster he'll be out of here."

Jeff shrugged, finding it hard to argue with that logic, and grabbed the hose while Armistead grabbed some soap. As they started washing the Bentley, DX - who apparently hadn't washed a car all day - wandered over.

"Nice set of wheels," Triple H observed. "Whose are they?"

"Take a look at the license plate and guess," Jeff muttered, pointing to the personalized plates that read 'RATED R'.

A gleam came over Shawn's and Hunter's faces.

"You know, Shawn," Hunter drawled, "I'm feeling kinda guilty that we've been here all day and haven't washed a single car."

"Yeah, but how can we wash cars when we have to watch Coco?" Shawn replied.

"Well, I don't think her Uncle Adam would mind if we put her in his car while we helped wash it, do you?" Triple H asked Shawn, who shook his head.

"Nah...I think he'd be cool with that."

"Well then, that settles it." Triple H opened the right rear door to the 350,000 car and helped Coco inside.

"Go on and play nice, Coco...we'll get you out in a few minutes, ok?" Having said that, he shut the door and turned to Shawn.

"Problem solved...let's wash a car!"

Shawn grinned and nodded like a little kid as the two of them grabbed sponges and rags.

All too soon, however, it became apparent that Coco was getting bored. At least, she was until she found the horn. The first time she pressed it, Jeff had been kneeling by the left front tire and was washing the rims. The blast from the horn made him jump a mile and he almost wet himself in fright. The sound of the horn was followed by an ecstatic simian shriek from inside the car.

After the horn had sounded several times, people were looking over at the Bentley strangely. Edge, finally realizing it was his car that was making all the noise, headed over to Armistead's station. Triple H, seeing him coming, leaned down and called to Coco from the outside.

"Hide in the back, Coco!"

Apparently, the chimp complied, for the honking stopped. Edge strode over to the car and glared at them.

"You idiots, you set off the alarm!" He shook his head. "Are you finished washing it?"

When Jeff nodded, he opened the driver's door and got in. "Forget the wax...I don't wanna give you four the opportunity to screw that up. I'll just get it done later by a professional."

"Wait, Adam - " Triple H began, but Edge cut him off.

"Save it, Hunter...I don't wanna hear it." He started the engine and headed out, rolling down his window as he did so.

Armistead, Jeff, and DX watched as the car headed for the highway. Triple H simply counted down.

"Three...two...one..."

Coco shrieked from inside the car.

"AAAAHHHH!" Edge screamed, and swerved wildly, losing control of the Bentley, which veered over to the side and smashed into a light pole, crushing the right front fender of the expensive car. Seconds later the light pole crashed down on the car's hood with a groan, seriously damaging the hood and spiderwebbing the windshield.

Coco escaped from the car in between these two events, running around behind the gas station. DX took off after her, leaving Armistead and Jeff to simply stare in astonishment at what had just happened. Edge staggered out of the car, dazed, and ripped open the left rear door and looked around inside frantically as several superstars ran over to see if he was ok, Jeff and Armistead included.

"You all right, Adam?" Armistead asked. Edge fixed him with a black glare.

"Where's that damn monkey?"

"What could the monkey have anything to do with what just happened?" Dave asked. "Hunter and Shawn haven't let her out of their sight once."

"Bullshit!" Edge snarled. "She was in the backseat of my car when I drove off. Obviously, they either deliberately put her in there or else she got away from them, and I'm willing to bet it was the first option!"

As the group stood there, a car pulled alongside and the passenger window rolled down. Ron Simmons was driving. He glanced at the wreckage of Edge's expensive car before summing it up succintly:

"DAMN!"

He then had to drive away quickly, for Edge practically flipped and started after Ron's car. Across the lot, The Undertaker watched from astride his custom Harley Davidson. He'd stopped in to get his bike washed and to sign a few autographs. He'd been chatting with Kane when the accident had occurred, and now watched with his 'brother' as the World Heavyweight Champion chased Ron's car out of the lot before turning back to the group of superstars and Divas that were standing by his car and screaming,

"It was the monkey! I know she was in there!" Edge glanced around frantically, looking for DX, who - wisely - had made themselves scarce. "And when I can prove she was, DX, you're gonna get the bill to fix my car!"

That said, Edge stalked toward the group of folding chairs set up near the cash table, pulling out his cell phone as he did so. The Brothers of Destruction followed him with their eyes before looking at each other and shaking their heads. Apparently, the World Heavyweight Champ had been out in the sun too long.


	5. Water World

**Disclaimer** - See Chapter One.

**Chapter Five: Water World**

Business went back to normal after about fifteen minutes. Edge's bad mood turned to worse when he called for a tow truck and was informed it would be almost two hours before one would arrive. He plopped down in one of the chairs by the cash table, his dark mood daring anyone to speak to him.

Of course, DX decided it was a perfect time to cause even more mischief. Shawn went over to his rental car, pulled out a plastic bag, and the two of them - along with Coco - went over to the water hoses. They spent the next ten minutes filling up water balloons until they had nearly twenty-five of them. Then they pulled out a water balloon launcher and Triple H loaded it. He peered out from behind the building, took aim at Shad, and fired.

The water balloon scored a direct hit, and Shad jumped a mile, simultaneously yelling "What the fuck?". He glanced around and saw Michelle nearby spraying down a car. He'd been checking out the blonde all day, and she was by far - in his opinion, anyway - the hottest Diva there, dressed in her black thong bikini. He turned to his JTG, who'd been distracted most of the day by Kelly Kelly in her red bikini.

"Yo, man...Michelle just nailed me with that hose she's got."

JTG grinned at him.

"Get her back, fool!" Shad grinned in return and nodded before turning to his 'opponent'.

The only inclination Michelle had of Shad's attack was she heard him say, "So that's how it's gon' be? Aight, cool." before she was nailed in the rear end with a stream of cold water. She screamed and whirled on him.

Shad had grinned when he heard her scream, but his grin vanished when he found himself face-to-face with a very-pissed-off Diva.

"What the hell did you do that for?!" Michelle screamed at him.

"Yo, girl, he's just repaying the favor...you got him first!" JTG replied. Michelle looked at him like he was nuts.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Shad grinned.

"All I'm sayin', girl, is that you didn't have to soak me...I know more fun ways to get you wet."

Michelle gave Shad a mischievous grin and kinked the hose behind her back. She strode toward him and brushed against him. Shad grinned like he'd just won the lottery. The gorgeous Diva leaned in and whispered seductively in his ear.

"I know a fun way too..." she trailed off, and Shad's grin got even wider. He didn't even notice Michelle snaking the hose under his shirt.

"Aw, hell yeah, girl...tell me about it."

Michelle gave Shad a seductive little giggle.

"Well, all you have to do is this:"

She unkinked the hose and soaked Shad good. He shouted in surprise, and she laughed and took off running. Shad yanked the hose out of his shirt, threw it on the ground, and ran after her, leaving JTG laughing so hard he was bent double.

Behind the building, DX watched the scene unfold with glee.

"Nice one, Hunter," Shawn said approvingly.

Hunter nodded. "Your turn, buddy," he said, handing the launcher to Shawn and taking Coco's hand in return. Shawn loaded the launcher and peered out from behind the building. He saw Carlito busy washing the rims on a Buick Ranier, took aim, and fired.

The results were better than he could've hoped for. The water balloon caught Carlito on the back of the head, drenching his hair and causing him to let out a spiel of angry Spanish.

Shawn snorted with laughter and ducked back behind the building. Triple H grabbed the launcher, loaded, and fired at a much-wider target that was standing near Carlito: Mark Henry. The balloon hit the World's Strongest Man in between the shoulder blades, and he stiffened and turned to see Carlito using a hose to create more soap in the bucket he was using. Carlito, sensing someone watching him, looked up and smiled at nodded at Mark Henry. The Silsbee, Texas native saw red.

"Let's go, Afro Man!" he yelled, and started toward Carlito, whose eyes widened, and he started stammering frantically in Spanish to ward off his massive adversary.

DX, sensing that they'd better switch positions before they were discovered, grabbed as many water balloons as they could carry, along with the launcher and Coco, and ran to another position, leaving about eight water balloons behind.

Mickie was on her way back from the bathroom when she noticed Triple H and Shawn running across the lot and giggling like little kids. She headed over to the spot they'd just vacated and found the remaining water balloons. Getting an idea, she grabbed two of them and headed over to Maria, tapping the bubbly Diva on the shoulder and when Maria turned to face her, she handed her the water balloon.

"Have some fun with John...Luke's got the same thing coming to him."

Maria giggled and nodded. Once Mickie had left her, she turned to where her boyfriend was standing, wiping Armor-All into the tires of a Mustang. She cocked her arm back and threw, catching the WWE Champion in the center of the back.

John started and whirled around when he felt the gush of cold water hit his back. He glanced around to see where it had come from, and when he saw his girlfriend, she smiled innocently and waved at him. He grinned back at her, knowing she was the culprit.

"'Ria, baby..." he called over to her.

"Yeah, John?" she responded, and he could tell she was barely holding in her laughter.

"Run." The Champ responded, and with that, got up and started toward her. Maria squealed and took off, Cena in hot pursuit.

Mickie approached her boyfriend from behind, grinning. She took aim and threw. Armistead never saw it coming. The water balloon caught him right on the back of the neck, and he gave a shout of surprise when it hit him. He whirled to find Mickie doubled over with laughter behind him, but his gorgeous girlfriend stopped laughing when she saw him staring at her with a face like stone.

"Luke, are you ok?" she asked worriedly.

Armistead calmly mopped off the back of his neck.

"Sweetheart, I care very much for you, so I'm going to be a gentleman and give you this warning. Run. Now."

Mickie giggled and took off behind the abandoned gas station's car wash building. Armistead ran around the building, pursuing her, but stopped when he found her waiting for him.

"Angel, the whole point of me chasing you is for you not to get caught."

The Women's Champ gave him a seductive grin.

"We're alone back here, Luke." She walked over to him and placed his arms around her waist. "And you caught me." She leaned into him and murmured into his ear. "Now what are you going to do with me?"

The kiss Armistead gave her a millisecond later left no doubt as to what he wanted.


	6. Coco Meets The Chairman

**Disclaimer** - See Chapter One.

**Chapter Six: Coco Meets the Chairman**

Meanwhile, DX was having so much fun with their water balloon launcher that somehow they forgot to keep an eye on Coco. She grabbed a water balloon of her own and wandered back to the front of the lot and over by the cash table. It just so happened, Vince had set up a folding chaise lounge for himself, and had stretched out like King Farooq and gone to sleep. Coco saw him right away, ran over and planted the water balloon right in the Chairman's crotch.

Vince doubled over. Coco shrieked and bounced up and down in excitement as the chairman swore a blue streak and finally managed to stagger to his feet. He took one look at the chimpanzee and lost it.

"WHAT THE HELL IS A MONKEY DOING HERE?!"

At his shout, DX looked around frantically. Coco was nowhere to be seen. Shawn and Hunter looked at each other.

"Uh-oh..." they chorused, and ran out from their hiding spot and around the front of the building. The rest of the superstars and Divas all turned towards the cash table, save for a few that were somewhere else.

Mark Henry stopped trying to overturn Carlito's car when the chairman yelled, and decided he'd better go see what was going on. Carlito decided not to waste his good fortune; he started his car and peeled out of there as fast as he could.

John and Maria had been enjoying a moment alone when Vince hollered, and regretfully separated and headed up front again. On the way, they met Shad and Michelle, who hadn't been seen since Shad had chased her around back about ten minutes earlier. Michelle had a smug grin on her face, while Shad looked like he'd won the lottery ten times over.

Mickie and Armistead were still behind the car wash building, basking in the aftermath of an extremely fun bit of 'private time', with Armistead leaning against the wall and Mickie curled up next to him. They too separated regretfully when the chairman yelled, and straightened their clothes before going up front. By the time everyone was near the front, muted laughter could be heard.

Vince was standing by the cash table, the crotch of his pants soaked. It looked as though he'd had an accident.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" he roared. DX saw the results of Coco's water balloon attack, and Triple H spoke up, a smart-aleck grin on his face.

"Well Vince, I think that much is obvious." He paused and grinned at the assembled superstars. "It means Vincey's not ready for big-boy pants."

The WWE Chairman looked like he was about to pop a vein at Triple H's remark, while not even The Undertaker, as stoic as he was, could keep from at least cracking a smile. Mickie collapsed against Armistead, hid her face in his chest, and squealed, smacking her fist against his shoulder.

"WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ANIMAL?" Vince yelled. Triple H and Shawn sheepishly stepped forward. Vince nodded.

"I might've known." He glowered at them. "GET THIS THING OUTTA HERE!"

Triple H and Shawn took back possession of Coco and headed off. It took a few minutes for them to gather everything together and for them to make the rounds, letting the various superstars say goodbye to the chimp. With DX and their simian friend gone, Edge seemed to visibly relax, and his tow truck arrived soon after. He didn't say goodbye to anyone; he simply made sure his car was ready for towing and then climbed into the cab of the tow truck.

About an hour after Edge left, the car wash shut down for the day. As Armistead leaned against his car, Lady hanging her head out one of the back windows, John walked over to him.

"Hey, a bunch of us are gonna get cleaned up and go out for dinner in a little while...maybe hit a club later on tonight...are you and Mickie up for it?"

Armistead was about to reply, when Mickie saved him the trouble.

"We might meet you guys at the club later, but dinner's definitely out. I've got something important I need to discuss with Luke."

John nodded and headed over to his car, where Maria was waiting. As Armistead and Mickie got in his car, he turned to her with a questioning expression on his face.

"What's the important thing you need to discuss with me?"

Mickie gave him a mischievous grin.

"Stamina...in other words, how much of it do you have?"

Armistead grinned at her. "Let's put it this way, darlin'...enough to know we probably won't make it to the club tonight; we'll be far too busy."

"Very good answer," Mickie giggled.

Later that Night

Adam Copeland pulled into his hotel parking lot later that evening in a very bad mood. He got out of his rental car and slammed the door, heading for the hotel entrance with a black look on his face. The rental car people apparently thought they had a sense of humor...he was now driving a Ford Edge.

**THE END**


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